A man by nature must have a strong and strong-willed spirit, balanced and bold character. But there are situations when the elementary excitement makes you hesitate about what to talk to the girl on the phone or when meeting for the first time. And if some of this is due to self-doubt, others experience difficulties because of strong sympathy and interest in the girl.
It would seem that this can be difficult if you talk to the girl on the phone, because many guys serve in the army, fight with rivals, are brought up on the street in a fight, save people and work physically. Despite this, the emotional background often prevails over the mind, many guys are even subjected to panic attacks, afraid to talk with women.
Work on yourself so that when you make a call, be calm and not twitch.
- Find a reason. Before picking up the phone, make sure you know why you are calling. If you call a girl that you already know and hope to know better, it may be worth continuing the conversation that you already had. It is important to have a specific reason. If you are not quite ready to invite her on a date, you can call her and invite her to a party, where besides her there will be a company of mutual friends. Not ready to invite you on a date and just want to get to know her better, remember your last personal conversation and find a topic that you can return to. For example, if she recommends a book, movie, etc., you can call her to say how much you liked and was helpful. If you are studying, working together, you can ask about a recent project.
- The right time to call. When you talk to her, you must be sure that she is in no hurry and is ready to continue the conversation. Try calling her when she has free time, for example, after studying, working, or during the lunch break. If you just met a girl, do not wait too long to call her. Try calling for a day or two after you get her phone number.
- Send the text message first. If you are not sure when is the best time to call, text messages may be helpful first. You can ask her if she is free, or say that you will call in a few minutes to let her go. If she sends you a message for any reason, take this opportunity. Send a response message to let you know that you are going to call her in a couple of minutes.
- Take a deep breath. If you really like this girl and you want the conversation to go well, you need to talk calmly. Before the call, it’s completely normal to worry and be nervous. To avoid this when talking on the phone, try a deep breathing exercise. This will help you calm down so you can make a better impression.
- Warmly welcome her. You want to make a good first impression when she answers the call, it is very important to have a ready-made greeting. If you know each other well enough, it is usually enough to say hello and identify yourself. If you just met, say hi, say your name and remind her where she met you. For example, you can say: “Hello, Christina, this is Sergey. How are you? ”If you just met her, you could say:“ Hey, Christina, this is Sergey. We met yesterday at the library. ”
- A conversation on common topics that interest her. For example, such as the weather, it definitely will not impress her. Bring the conversation to her interests or hobbies so that she communicates calmly and knows that you really pay attention when she speaks. For example, you can tell her: “You mentioned that you are a football fan. What do you think of the last game? ”You can ask her what is going on in her life. For example, you can say: “You had an exam (certification) yesterday, right? How was it?".
- Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. You want your conversation to go as smoothly as possible, so it's best to avoid “yes” or “no.” They tend to interfere. Open questions. They will help to get to know each other better and continue the conversation. For example, instead of asking, “Did you like the movie?”, You can say, “What did you like most about the movie?”
- Listen to her. Give her the opportunity to speak and listen carefully to what she has to say. This will make her realize that her thoughts and opinions are really important to you. If she is telling a story, be sure to let you know that you are paying attention. When she pauses, you can say “Really?” So that she knows what is interesting to you and continues. Do not be afraid to ask her questions when she speaks. This is another way to let her know you are paying attention.
- Get to the bottom. Talk with her about her interests and what is happening in her life, you do not want the conversation to go aimlessly. After the initial courtesy, explain why you called. In most cases, she will appreciate your straightforwardness. For example, you might say, “I called to ask if you would like to spend time tomorrow night.” You can say something like: "I called to find out if I can get the pasta sauce recipe that we talked about."
Flirt with her on the phone.
- If you are trying to flirt with her, you want to be sure that she is pleased. Lower your voice a little so that it does not sound creaky or timid, this will definitely help. Make sure you speak loud so she can hear everything.
- Speak clearly and slowly. When you are nervous, you may have the habit of speaking quickly. If you want to seem flirty, try to slow down your speech and speak clearly. This will help you look more confident, which is important when you flirt.
- When you are trying to conquer a girl, you need to make her feel comfortable. Praise what you like about her, but be honest and try not to seem too stupid. For example, you could say: "I wanted to tell you the other day ... you looked beautiful in this blue dress." Do not focus on her physical qualities when you praise her. If you are impressed by her sense of humor, intelligence, kindness or other qualities, be sure to tell her about them.
- Keep on light topics. When you try to be flirty, it’s best to avoid hard topics like your sick friend or being fired at work. Instead, stick with fun, happy themes like your new cat or a trip you recently made to an amusement park, etc.
- Tell her you enjoyed talking to her. When you are preparing to end the conversation, you want to make sure that she knows that you appreciated the time spent with you. Let her know that you enjoyed your conversation and would like to talk to her again in the future. For example, you can say: “Talking with you was really nice and fun. Let's do it again. ” You can say something like: “It was a really great conversation. Maybe we’ll continue tomorrow at lunch? ”
- If you called her for a specific reason, be sure to check the details before ending the conversation. For example, if you asked her about a date and she agreed, make sure you know when you are going and where you are going to meet. Even if you haven’t agreed on a date or plans, it’s worth mentioning when you see her again before you end the conversation. For example, you might say: “Perhaps I will see you this weekend, at Ivan’s birthday. They will manage to talk more. ”
- Offer a sincere farewell. When you finish the conversation, you will want to say goodbye. Depending on the time of day, you can end the conversation by saying, “Good night,” or “Have a nice day.” You can be more at ease and say, "See you later" or "Take care of yourself." Just be sincere so that she knows that you mean what you say.
Common Errors During a Phone Conversation
In searching for tips on building a dialogue with their chosen one, men turn to methods of psychological influence, which are designed to maintain contact with the interlocutor through capacious and relevant words. However, few guys consider that the format of communication should be chosen in accordance with the interests and upbringing of the woman. The main mistakes of hospitable gentlemen are in the following sequence of sloppy actions and phrases:
Due to excessive excitement, many guys forget to monitor the correctness of the conversation, allowing themselves inappropriate taunts and slang expressions. This format of dialogue causes the girl unpleasant emotions, so she no longer wants to continue communication.
Another common mistake of men is self-doubt, which is accompanied by silence in the telephone receiver. The guys who are going to share the good news forget about why they called. The result of “failures” in memory is an unprepared dialogue in advance, on the productivity of which it is useless to count.
Men tend to cheat themselves by projecting scenarios. The guys are pre-configured for the worst outcome, so they are even more worried. The purpose of the call is to find mutual understanding, to position the girl to her own person. Do not forget about the purpose of the conversation that you seek to achieve. With the help of excitement, a man can count on only one result - the alienation of the chosen one.
If the gentleman did not succeed in getting rid of the jitters, it is important to remain unnoticed by this girl in this “weakness." Do not give out your excitement in an uncertain voice and trembling timbre. The young lady will definitely notice nervousness, not appreciating your training. Such a conversation will not lead to the desired result, “throwing away” the likelihood of love relationships with a pretty girl a few moves back.
The process of preparing for a phone conversation with a girl
If you want to win the favor of a girl, you will have to refuse SMS. This format of communication does not allow the interlocutor to convey the gamut of feelings and the spectrum of emotions that you put into the phrase. Correspondence is suitable for couples with an established love relationship, where the partners over time have thoroughly studied each other.
To start a dialogue with a girl that you like, through a welcome message is an inappropriate decision. To the classic: “Hello! How are you? ”, - the women are already tired of responding to thousands of other gentlemen. It’s not difficult to learn how to deal with stress during “live” communication and a telephone conversation - the main thing is to prepare yourself in advance following the following useful recommendations:
Consider in advance with what phrase you will begin communication with the chosen one. Consider the choice of greeting at what stage of development the relationship is. If you communicate exclusively as friends, then use the traditional "Hello". If a girl is aware of your sympathy and reciprocates, then accompany the first phrase with a diminutively affectionate characteristic - "Hello, dear."
Learn in advance the schedule of the chosen one to get acquainted with the daily routine. You will not succeed in a positive conversation in the course of work, so choose the best time for a telephone conversation. Call when a woman is free from communication with friends and not busy with business.
Deciding on the prerequisite for talking on the phone is another important aspect that you need to take care of in advance. Having said a welcome phrase at the beginning of the dialogue and inquired about the health status of the chosen one, proceed to the essence of communication. Ask a question or familiarize a woman with interesting information so that she has a desire to continue the conversation, “promising” to be fascinating.
Dialogue is a process designed for the final result. You call to realize a certain goal. Project in advance how the conversation should end, rehearse the moment of farewell - make an appointment or wish good dreams, thank you for the conversation, or end the conversation with a nice compliment.
If you follow the advice, the result will be peace of mind and balance, which are indispensable in a conversation with a chosen one. In a peaceful state, you will demonstrate to the girl the best personal qualities, be remembered by sparkling humor and distinguish yourself with wise recommendations. The main thing is to get rid of the excitement, which is the cause of many failed marriages. A man should personify protection and confidence, therefore, neglecting the advice given is an irrational choice of guys who decide on an important call.
Suitable topics for a telephone conversation
Heart-to-heart talk is the highest “aerobatics” of communication between a man and a woman, which can only be achieved over time. An integral part of a successful dialogue is the right choice of topics for conversation. If you are wondering what to talk about with a girl over the phone, then check out the list of popular topics, taking into account the interests of your chosen one:
hobbies and hobbies,
young lady’s cherished dream,
fears and ways to deal with them,
the first love,
the values of family life and the need for love relationships,
first meeting with the chosen one (thoughts at this moment, first impression of you),
preferences in cinema, colors, dishes, clothes, etc.,
relationship with parents
It is important to catch the girl’s train of thought in time, to develop a new topic for conversation that appeared during the conversation. If you learn to “navigate” during a dialogue with a chosen one, you will definitely find theses that need to be discussed. The topics cannot end - look around, every day in the world a number of large-scale events take place.
After reviewing the above information, you will cope with the excitement and not make common mistakes by correctly building a dialogue with the girl. A telephone conversation is part of the communication, so it is important to determine the topic in advance and think about the likely outcome of the conversation. Remember that women are not intrigued by weak-willed men - young ladies are interested in strong-minded guys, for whom the girl will feel protected.
Getting ready for a phone conversation with a girl
Given strong and sincere sympathy for the girl, many guys get lost when they meet or make the first call, not knowing what to talk about with the object of sympathy. This is due to the desire to show oneself from the best side and thereby provoke reciprocal interest. Many, against the background of embarrassment, speak meaningless phrases, unsuccessfully joke or start inappropriate conversation topics, pushing away a stranger.
Psychologists advise, before calling the girl, to collect thoughts and plan a conversation at the preparation stage. There are a few points to consider:
- Greeting. You should not use SMS messages and commonplace phrases, such as “Hello, how are you” to greet, as this will immediately cause boredom on the part of the girl. If communication is still at the stage of friendship, you can simply say “Hello”, with a romantic mood, the phrase can be somewhat supplemented, for example, “Hello, dear.”
- Time for a call. Knowing the girl’s daily schedule or schedule of her work, studies, a man must choose the right time for a conversation. If you call during working hours, the girl will rush and be distracted by other topics.
- The purpose of the conversation. Calling without a goal is not always advisable and justified, so a man needs to start a conversation with any question he is interested in, for example, about the girl’s health or her mood.
- Topics for conversation. It is necessary to think over the topics of the conversation in advance in order to interest her and show herself from the best side. It is advisable to choose those options in which both partners will be competent so that there are no awkward pauses.
- The outcome of the conversation. Any conversation should be in order to realize any task that a man defines. You need to think in advance how to offer the girl a meeting or the next call to continue the conversation. At the end, you can wish good night, a productive working day, say nice words and compliments.
Only having thought over all the indicated points in advance before the call, the first communication will necessarily turn out in a successful way. In addition, preliminary training will help maintain peace of mind and balance, which is an indicator of the personality and character of the interlocutor for girls. The phrases “it seems to me”, “maybe” or “I don’t know” should be removed from the speech so as not to seem to the girl an insecure doubting guy without a clear position.
What is the first time to talk to a girl on the phone?
Если мужчина решил позвонить девушке в первый раз, беседа между ними должна пройти на высшем уровне, чтобы оставить положительные впечатления и желание пообщаться еще. Для этого мужчине нужно грамотно вести диалог с девушкой, который будет состоять из трех этапов:
- Start — поприветствовать девушку можно банальным «Привет» без ухищрений и оригинальностей. To melt her heart, a man can explain why he paid attention to her, asking for a phone number for further communication.
- Conversation - you need to communicate with the girl on the phone by dialogue, allowing the interlocutor to speak out as well. Having shown genuine interest in her, you can even more place the object of sympathy in his direction. The main indicator of successful communication is the sincerity of both opponents. To make the conversation easy and sincere, you can add humor to it. Topics for conversation should be such that he and she understand.
In a conversation it is important to monitor your intonation, purity of speech, lack of obscene and rude phrases. The easiest way to start communication is with questions about the girl herself, which will show interest in her. Girls love ears, so a man must definitely make a couple of unobtrusive compliments so as not to seem sneaky.
What's the best way to end a conversation?
At the end of the conversation, the man must necessarily offer the option of further communication by phone or live, but after her consent, there is no need to rush to the end of the call. You can still discuss the venue or options for where she would like to go. If she refuses to meet, you can ask when she will have such an opportunity, but in no case do not need to put pressure on her. You can end the conversation with compliments and care, for example, wish a good night or a good day.
If a girl does not show interest in a first date, it is important for a man to remain calm and to warm up interest in every way. You can tell what she lost, having refused to meet, for example, a concert of a famous group, a new recipe for coffee in a cozy cafe, etc. Moreover, it is important not to persuade and not beg her consent to the meeting, which will cause a backlash.
Common mistakes during a phone call
In communicating with a girl you like for the prospect of a relationship with her, you need to not only think about what can be discussed during the first call, but also how to talk with her so as not to push her off with nonsense. Psychologists name some of the most common mistakes that men make, namely:
- Speech - Against the backdrop of excitement, one can speak incorrectly, allowing causticity, sarcasm or jargon.
- The reason for the call is that, against the backdrop of self-doubt, many people forget why they called the girl at all, being silent during the conversation, which leads to a decrease in her productivity.
- Excitement - because of the excitement, men wind up different scenarios for the outcome of the conversation, which is expressed in forgetfulness, confused and meaningless speech, stumbling, etc.
- Intonation - despite the “jitters” and shyness, in the eyes of the girl you need to remain confident and calm man, so it is important not to give out a trembling voice, nervous intonation.
- Assertiveness - because of the strong desire to please the girl, many guys in the first conversation dump out on her in a crowd all the information about themselves.
Psychologists advise throughout the conversation to ensure that the speech is clean, competent, measured without rushing and the manifestation of emotions. In this case, it is important not to overdo it, so as not to seem to the girl overly confident or indifferent to the conversation.
Girls love self-confident, kind men with a clear position in all spheres of life. Therefore, during a conversation on the phone, even if this is the first conversation and the man forms an opinion about himself in her eyes, it is extremely important to maintain composure and endurance. The conversation should be positive, filled with various topics, at least concerning the girl. This will help demonstrate a man’s interest in her. At the end of the conversation, it is necessary to clarify the scenario for subsequent communication, offering the girl options suitable for both.
Discuss the reality show
Let feminists and intellectuals not snort contemptuously now. Many middle-aged men sit down on this unworthy sight of a self-respecting person. First, they make jokes such as: “What do you want from a person watching“ House-2? ”Gradually, invisibly to themselves, they begin to criticize individual participants. And there the process is already in full swing.
If a woman missed several episodes, to the question: “Who is this?” Or “They are no longer together, or what?”, The man suddenly answers competently. Caught red-handed, he justifies himself: "I passed by the TV - I heard." It ends with the fact that he calls his girlfriend: “Begins!” So, if you are afraid of awkward pauses in the conversation, get ready. Just read the announcements of the latest releases. If all of a sudden your acquaintance is a hater, the conversation will take place anyway. Join the condemnation. And you will have something in common. At first, not bad either.
Speak on an interesting topic
The world famous Dale Carnegie, about 30 years ago (if not more), gave advice in his book that will always be relevant: you need to talk about what the interlocutor is most interested in. Show that you are also interested in the subject of discussion. Better yet, ask for advice. Just do not go too far! Otherwise, it’s easy to get into an awkward position. Your opponent will sooner or later guess that you were deceiving. She is unlikely to like it.
If the young lady is educated, and you also read a couple of books, then you will create a favorable impression by telling any interesting fact. Talk about history, painting, amusing cases from the life of great scientists or finds left by ancient civilizations. You will not be mistaken. If your acquaintance has only one book, and that one is in the cupboard as an element of decor due to the gilded binding, no smart speeches are needed. And then he will complain that you are loading.
Talk about cooking
With someone yawning at the mention of Freud, Coelho and Max Fry, it is worth discussing rare culinary recipes. Try with the primitive: “I want to bake pizza. Googled: so everything is abstruse ... It will not work for me. Have you ever made it yourself? ”A lady who loves cooking will tell you not only this recipe. You might even be invited to a tasting.
Discuss future plans
Do you like a workaholic? It’s not worth inventing here. Everything on the surface: discuss future plans. What are the most paid professions at the moment? What is her opinion about making money on the Internet? How does she see the financial situation in the country in 30 years? And does she have a work book? Topics for discussion of the financial sector - a million. But, if you yourself are not interested in them, you have to suffer.
What and how exactly you do not need to talk about
And now for the taboo:
- If you are not best friends yet, avoid the mat, as not everyone caresses the ear. Some even cuts. To a stranger a couple of phrases can turn away from you forever. Still escaped? I'm sorry. And try to hold back. Well, not two hours, because the conversation will last. You can tolerate a little.
- Do not demonstrate nationalistic views. You can never tell a person if he is not wearing a Ku Klux Klan cap or a tattoo with a fist in the form of a swastika, what kind of reaction will be. This topic is very sensitive. And for some, it’s just a matter of principle. Even when you have been friends with a person for many years, but a conflict has begun between your countries, show prudence and do not participate in it. If governments and the majority of the population are “in a quarrel”, this does not mean at all that you need to join one of them. They have their own kitchen. You have your own. Appreciate friendship.
- Do not discuss the former. Again, if you are not just bosom friends. But in life, so often everything changes. Today, childhood friends, and tomorrow you bring up children together. Therefore, even in the future, too flattering reviews will cause jealousy. And the negative ones ... It depends on the girl’s upbringing. Decent people do not speak badly about the former. How about the dead, God forgive me. Moderately good or nothing.
Concluding the conversation, if you are not planning a date, do not forget to say the phrase sweet in its simplicity: "It was very nice to talk." And if necessary, add: “And when can you still call?”